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Raise your hand if your toddler dropped his pants and peed in front of your children’s Principal, Vice Principal, and PTA President tonight at a school function. 🙋🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Where is the lie? #momstrosity

I feel this. 😂
Via @lifeofdad

Stages of your kids sleeping in your bed. - Stage 1: ALLOWING "Mom, Can we get in your bed?"
"Sure, baby"
After all, they won't be little forever.
What if they are scared?
I want them to remember us being there for them.
Humans are probably the only mammals that expect their young to sleep alone.
We are great parents! - Stage 2: RATIONALIZING

This won't last much longer.
So what if I am a little uncomfortable?
We are making memories and well rounded kids who care for others. We are teaching empathy here.
What is Parenthood if not making sacrifices? - Stage 3: REGRET

Geez, it is hot as hades with these little radiators.
Why can't they lay straight like a normal person?
My ribs hurt.
I would rather sleep with a Tasmanian Devil.
We didn't buy this big house so we could all pile in my bed like Charlie's grandparents on Willy Wonka.
I love these kids, but I really dont like them right now. - Step 4: Get OUT of my room!

Go sleep in your own bed,
or get your cute little Pajamaed behinds in the floor.
I need sleep if I am expected not to be a yelling lunatic in the morning.
Repeat steps 1-4 the following night until forever, or until sweet Jesus comes and takes us all home.

It is what it is.
#Momstrosity

ELIZA IS COMING HOME TODAY! ⁣
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My nextie (next door neighbor bestie 😂) is coming home today after being gone for almost 3 weeks. ⁣
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As happy as I am to see her, I am ecstatic that sweet Baby Maeve is returning home healthy and happy. It was a very scary time, and God has been so incredibly good to watch over this precious family. ⁣
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Maeve will still have to be closely monitored⁣
to see how her body responds, but her family is hopeful that this surgery will hold. ⁣
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Many people have been asking how they can help. (Eliza can be weird about accepting help, but can’t we all?) I am looking at ways to love and support her family as they transition back to life outside the hospital. If you want to help, feel free to send me a PM. ⁣
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But most of all, thank you for your continued love and prayers as Baby Maeve continues to recover at home and for rest for Eliza as she returns to normal life and is reunited with her 3 sweet boys. ⁣
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#bravebabymaeve

I can not get over the fact that there are people willing to take my kids for six hours a day, five days a week and commit to teaching them for THIRTEEN years! ⁣⁣
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Our family full of crazy kids owe all you tax payers a drink. We may be taking advantage of this whole free public education system. ⁣⁣
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Today, we are thankful for the loving teachers welcoming our kiddos. You are doing the most holy of work, and we adore you. ⁣⁣
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Also, shoutout to all the moms of kindergarteners and preschoolers. As I passed you in the halls, I felt your jitters and your emotions. I cried a few tears with you on the way home. ⁣⁣
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Entrusting your babies to strangers is no joke. It’s scary and feels unnatural, but it gets easier as you lean into your new community of teachers and parents. Happy 1st Day of school! ❤️

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